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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24770896">I Don't Know What We're Talking About</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefectiveCracker/pseuds/DefectiveCracker'>DefectiveCracker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Daydreaming, Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), Dressing up for the occasion, Ducks, First Date as an official couple, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mark the mallard, Nervous dumbasses, awkward babes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:49:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24770896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefectiveCracker/pseuds/DefectiveCracker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale and Crowley finally decided to go on their first date as an official couple. If only the demon could get these pesky thoughts of that random duck out of his head!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Don't Know What We're Talking About</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just a silly little fic, inspired by Ninja Sex Party's song "I don't know what we're talking about". If you need more context, I'd highly recommend checking the song out, it's really great!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At precisely 8 PM, the all too familiar vintage Bentley stopped in front of his bookshop, its demonic driver picking up the angel for their very first date as an official couple. Even if they had been going out together approximately 700 times already, the both of them were strangely nervous, neither of them saying a single word as they drove up to their favorite restaurant, the Ritz. Crowley had even tried not to drive too recklessly for his now boyfriend in an attempt to make him feel as comfortable as possible. The Ritz was only chosen because the demon told his partner that it was going to be a surprise, and that he will think of something nice. Unfortunately, he completely forgot what all of his plans were and was not nearly calm enough to come up with something else, so they went to their go-to location. Aziraphale didn't really seem to mind that much at least.</p>
<p>As they were seated next to each other and the alcoholic beverages were brought to their table, finally a few words would fall, and with it, the tense atmosphere accompanying the awkward silence between them.<br/>"You know, Crowley... I can't exactly describe it, but this feels... so much more different than all of our previous times we've dined here before. Don't you agree, my dear?"<br/>Crowley simply nodded, nervously looking to the side as he scratched his chin, fumbling with the tie he had put on for the occasion. Only now had he noticed that Aziraphale had been wearing a simple black bowtie over his button up shirt, as opposed to his usual tartan patterned one. How did he not see that before?</p>
<p>Because it was their first "real" date, they of course had to dress accordingly, the demon sporting a classy all black suit including a blood red tie, although he had accidentally left the blazer in the car, while his sunglasses stayed on, for obvious reasons. He had combed his hair backwards to appear a little more elegant, hoping to impress his angel with his looks. The principality wore a white button up with the aforementioned black bowtie, a black sleeveless vest over his shirt. His hair on the other hand were practically as they've always been, he just had to spare a tiny miracle to make them look and feel a little poofier than usual, since he recalled that Crowley once mentioned how much he loved the softness of his curls. And knowing his boyfriend, cute little remarks like these were rather scarce, so he had to keep them in mind even more so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The skinnier figure leaned his head on top of his left palm while his right arm rested on the table, his fingertips lightly touching the other's. With every moment, they inched just a little closer together, until the demon's hand rested on top of the other man's, subconsciously caressing his skin with his thumb. In the meantime, his date had been talking rather openly about various topics, especially once he had gotten used to the situation. They kept exchanging sweet little glances, that Aziraphale wasn't exactly able to see due to the other's sunglasses, but he had a feeling that they were surely reciprocated. In fact, every time he had looked at the demon, he seemed to immediately stare back at him, or at least in his general direction. After all, it was rather hard to tell if you weren't able to see your counterpart's eyes that well. But of course, this had only been the case because Crowley hadn't averted his gaze even once, getting absolutely lost in his partner's beautiful eyes like too many other times before.</p>
<p>The light blue of the angel's irises had reminded Crowley of a nearly clear sky, a few stray clouds dancing over it while a small flock of birds were flying through. In his mind he suddenly pictured one of the feathered creatures approaching, landing gracefully on the grass after his flight, and with that, revealing his identity to be a duck. A mallard, to be exact. He decided his name would now be Mark. Countless unrelated questions then started popping up in his head, like "What do ducks do when they're too tired to fly or walk?", "Do ducks secretly have tiny duck-sized cars that they drive around in when no one is watching?" or "Would they use swans or geese as a sort of taxi or something?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Crowley forcibly pressed his eyelids together in an attempt to focus on his partner, who shot an endearing, yet slightly contemplative look back at him, tilting his head a little bit to the side. He started panicking inside and since he didn't know what to do, he simply smiled and nodded, to which Aziraphale had answered with a look downwards as he slowly backed away again, his own initial smile fading just a little. The demon was just about to ask him if everything was alright, when the same duck from just a few moments ago took over his mind once again, this time wearing a costume that made him look like a vampire, even with the fitting fake teeth stuck to each side of his beak. What if Mark had been hiding in this very restaurant this whole time, and this was the reason why he couldn't get his mind off of him? How many of his feathered companions were here with him? Were they all wearing costumes like him? What even was their plan? Did they purposefully try to sabotage the two celestial entities' date? Or was that more of a thing that geese did? After all, geese were known to be kind of aggressive douchebags or assholes, or whatever people would wish to call these birds. Which, to be fair, was true. They <em>did</em> have those strange toothed beaks and tongues, and with these, they were perfectly equipped for causing mischief or attacking innocent people. Why couldn't they just attack other assholes? For example Gabriel, or murderers, or just other random bastards in general. So, Gabriel. Oh, and every other angel that mistreated Aziraphale during all these centuries.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Crowley quickly shook his head, suddenly remembering that he was, in fact, on a date with his angelic boyfriend. The only problem was that said boyfriend was no longer sitting next to him and, as he looked around, didn't even appear to be anywhere in this room. His panic grew as he saw that he was the only one left in the restaurant and it wouldn't be long until the establishment would close for the day. Where was he? He couldn't have just left without notice, could he? Or was he stuck so deeply in his daydreams (or eveningdreams, since it wasn't day anymore?) that he didn't see or hear him leave? Oh no. Would he think he hated him now?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meanwhile, on the other side of the restaurant, an angel had been staring at his reflection for about five minutes already, contemplating on the things he had said and done during this evening. What was going on with Crowley? He kept staring at him like he was a moth, and Aziraphale was his beacon of light. Did he not like what he wore tonight? He had to admit, it was a little much black for his standards and he barely wore anything else than his regular clothes, but he hadn't expected it to be <em>that</em> bad. Maybe he just simply didn't like the colors on him or he thought it made him look less attractive? Did he think they were ill fitting and he just didn't want to say anything to avoid hurting his feelings?</p>
<p>No, it had to be something else, surely he would've told him if he didn't like it. Perhaps he had wanted their first date to be something different, something special, since they've been going to the Ritz so many times already and maybe he grew tired of spending his time here. But would this alone make him so irritated that he didn't even want to speak a single word with him throughout the entirety of their evening together? Was he perhaps not even ready to be in a relationship, or at least not ready to openly show that they were a couple? Did he force him into this too quickly?</p>
<p>...Or maybe he just misunderstood everything and Crowley simply was still as nervous as he was before they arrived here. Oh, what he must think of him to just leave him sitting on their table, all alone and probably waiting for him to come back, while the angel just kept staring at himself in the mirror for ten minutes! The demon must think of him as a terrible boyfriend now!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He splashed some cold water in his face before he quickly left the bathroom again, hurrying over in the direction of their table, only to see the demon sliding the check over the wooden surface and heading out the door into the night, his head lowered. The angel followed as quickly as he could, leaving a small tip on their check via miracle before a waiter would get it, on his way to catch the demon before he would leave without him.</p>
<p>"Crowley, darling! Where are you going?"<br/>The taller man turned around in surprise, relieved to see his angel again, but still a little perplexed. He ran over to suddenly hug him tightly, which the other imitated a little hesitantly. Aziraphale wasn't always used to physical contact like this, but through spending his time with Crowley, he had slowly gotten used to lovely touches and embraces like these, even if they were rather sudden.</p>
<p>"I thought you left at some point.", the demon spoke in a lower tone as he backed away to look at his adorable lover, the light of the street lamp reflecting on his silvery blond hair. The chubby figure tilted his head once again and slowly removed the other's glasses to be able to look into his gorgeous, golden yellow eyes.<br/>"Now, why would I do that, dear?"<br/>Crowley averted his gaze once again, staring at the ground as he started to mumble, "Y'know, I got distracted a lot tonight and couldn't concentrate so I... didn't really listen to what you were saying at all. And I thought that you maybe left cause you noticed."</p>
<p>Aziraphale stared at his partner with an endearing look in his eyes, placing his hand by the other's cheek. "Oh, sweetheart... To tell you the truth, I had the feeling that <em>you</em> disliked <em>me</em> since you wouldn't even say a single word to me. But, I'm not exactly innocent in this case either... I <em>did</em> leave without notice to visit the bathroom and contemplate if maybe I'd done something wrong, or if you didn't like my choice of clothing, or-"<br/>"No, angel. You're perfect. No matter what you wear.", he paused for a moment to let out a short sigh, scratching the back of his head nervously, "Look, I'm sorry I ruined our date. I'll drop you off at the bookshop and make up for it some other time, okay?"</p>
<p>The angel placed a quick kiss onto the other man's cheek as he gently took his slender hands into his soft ones, "Don't be sorry, my dear. You can, uh... stay at my place tonight. If you so desire. I mean, it <em>is</em> rather late already, isn't it?"<br/>A small, relieved smile hushed over Crowley's lips as he softly leaned his forehead against the other's, closing his eyes as he exhaled in contentedness.</p>
<p>"I'd like nothing more than that, angel."</p>
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